Poets Are Just Kids Who Didn't Make It
by Ashimattack
Summary: everytime we fought and it felt like we'd never be happy again he'd go sit by the rivers edge and talk to the fish


**Kinda a similar to 'to be a footnote in someone else's happiness' but from Edward's point of view.**

**Inspired by a quote from episode 38.**

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Al has always seemed so much younger than he really is; this is most likely entirely because of his voice.

He sounds like the little innocent brother I always wanted him to stay forever.

But that's fake, innocent little brothers never have to worry about death.

'_M__um! We're home! Is dinner ready I'm starv....'_

'_what is it brother?'_

'_Al don't come any closer. I don't want you to see'_

'_see what? Oh my...'_

'_what are we going to do?'_

'_well I guess we need to call a doctor or some...'_

'_no but what are we gonna do? Al, look at her! Oh god oh god... what are we going to...'_

'_Ed snap out of it! Pull yourself together! You freaking out isn't going to help anyone!'_

He never snapped at me like that before.

He never snaps at anyone.

He has this calm demeanour about him all the time, even when I've snapped.

'_all right everyone! Hands where I can see 'em. You! In the armour! Take it off, no heroes today'_

'_I'm sorry sir. But I can't take it off'_

'_don't give me excuses. Take it off'_

'_it's probably better if I leave it on...'_

'_take it off or I'll shoot shorty'_

'_WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT YOU OVERGROWN...'_

'_Ed. Calm down.'_

'_what?!? How can I?! You heard what he said!'_

'_Ed shut it. I'm sorry about him. Look I'm sure we can work this out...'_

He may seem innocent, but beneath that metal facade and cute little voice lies a fourteen year old with eyes that have seen a lot.

'_Al... why did you do that?'_

'_I... I don't know. I just saw he was about to... and I... snapped'_

'_Al... he's dead'_

'_oh god... I killed someone! Ed I killed someone! How can I... oh god'_

'_Al it's ok'_

'_No it isn't! I can't be a murderer! I have to stay strong... have to keep us both up'_

He was always stronger than me.

He still is the most amazing person I know.

But He put too much weight on his shoulders.

No one could be that strong and still keep their sanity.

'_Hey... Ed?'_

'_yeah?'_

'_What colour were my eyes?'_

'_What? As if you could forget! They were a deep blue colour; mum always said that they reminded her of the sky while mine were the sun. So together we always brightened up her day!'_

'_oh... I forgot I guess'_

'_It's ok... it's been a while'_

'_Ed.... I still can't remember'_

'_what?'_

'_I can't remember what they look like. Ed I can't remember that colour of my own eyes! I can't remember the feeling of my skin I can't remember! Ed...'_

A part of me is glad I can't see his eyes anymore.

I don't think I could stand to look back at them.

Not after everything.

'_something is wrong... Alphonse!'_

'_BROTHER!'_

'_ALPHONSE! TAKE MY HAND! JUST GRAB IT!'_

'_I... I can't reach Ed!'_

'_JUST GRAB IT! NOW!'_

'_I can't... I can't...'_

That was the last time I saw them and the first time I saw them with anything other than admiration.

Every time we fought and it felt like we'd never be happy again he'd go sit by the river's edge and talk to the fish. **(1)**

'_How are you guys? Although I guess you've probably forgotten. You only have three second memories right? I forgot the colour of my eyes today. I ended up fighting with my brother. It scares me sometime... I don't want to be this way forever. Ed blames himself and I wish I could blame him, wish I could blame anyone other than me. I need to be strong; I need to stay brave enough'_

He could talk for hours, never knowing I was there and I never told him I was.

'_I have to stay strong! I have to be brave! I need to keep Ed up so that he never falls because if he does then all hope is lost for both of us'_

I wish he could understand that he's allowed to cry to me sometimes.

no one has to hide everything all the time, It's not healthy

Even the strongest glass will break under enough strain

_'Ed we need to speak to him'_

_'No we don't! we've done fine without him for the last 10 years, what makes you think we need him now?_

_'Because you know we can't do this without him! And he wants to see you'_

'_Well maybe I just don't want to see him okay?'_

'_Well maybe you need to grow up and make the first move Shorty!'_

**(2)**

That was the first and last time he had ever called me short.

I could tell he was waiting for me to go spastic and I wanted to.

But I knew I shouldn't.

So I just smiled sadly at him

'_Well maybe you're just freakishly tall'_

Then I left, and watched him from the tall reeds near the river's edge.

The strongest glass will shatter eventually, and when it does it will always shatter the hardest.

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**(1) That's the quote that inspired the fic**

**(2) Line from 'to be a footnote in someone else's happiness' thought it would be nice to hear Ed's point of view from that situation.**


End file.
